Pump pump it up

My child was never teeny tiny. He finally made it into this world via c section, not the birth shoot like I had been trying to push him through for oh, 5 hours. The doctor nicknamed him Moose. Needless to say, he has always been an eater.

We had some fun learning how to throw him on the teet but once he learned, he never wanted to leave.

Now don't let anyone fool you. Breastfeeding hurts.There is cracking, blisters and clogged milk ducts and other weird shit that they gloss over at the hospital. Anyone that tells you it doesn't hurt and is the most natural thing in the world is a damn liar.

Before you know it you are home from the hospital. Your baby won't latch on, he's starving and crying bloody murder. You are crying equally as hard and your husband questions your mental capacity to be alone with HIS child.

ahem.

Anyway, it takes you weeks, no, months to get feeding down. You know when his little anxious whine is a hungry whine and don't wait until you are done doing the dishes to feed him or you will see your baby cry real tears.

But it does get easier. I actually love breastfeeding. Then I had to break the stay at home bubble and go back to work. I have been lucky in that I am back to work part time. I figured I'd pump the days I am back, he'd drink it the next day and all would be glorious and wonderful.

fuck no.

If there is anything more freaky then seeing your cute little nipple getting sucked out 2 inches long in plastic flanges, I don't know what it is. I now know how cows feel.

And your partner watching you pump? Well let's just say however freaked out you may be, he is 100% more freaked out. And he actually listens when you tell him to stop grabbing you tits in passing.

for once.

But again you are doing this for your baby. You beautiful snuggley, smiley baby, who totaly appreciates your boob sacrific. Right?

Right. He starts drinking way more then you can pump. You find yourself pumping on days you are home with him just hoping to squeak out a couple ounces here and there so the babysitter won't yell at you for not giving them enough food for your baby. And your mom guilt takes over and crushes you.

You find yourself wondering why you are trying to keep up with the Moose's appetite?

Then you go to the store and look at the price of formula. Breastfeeding might not be easy, but it sure as shit is cheap.